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I used to blog at Blogger. But fell in love with WordPress, and have been here ever since.

Dont stress, you’ll still be getting the same expensive mistakes and cheap thrills….

50 Things About Me:

1. I am mother to The Kid. He is eight ten months old. Has two teeth, is starting to crawl and I’m pretty sure his first word will be ‘fuck’.
2. I smoke. But I have to have something to drink while I smoke. Not because I hate the taste of cigarettes, but so I can taste it anew after each sip of my beverage.
3. I have a stationery fetish. Pens, highlighters, staples. Especially Post-Its. I am their number one biggest fan. My problem is so bad, my dad even got me an account at Waltons. My happiest day was when Waltons moved into a new shop up the road from my house.
4. I love photocopy machines. And binders. And laminating machines. They’re awesome.
5. I have three Jack Russell puppies – a girl (Tesca) and a boy named Fez (after the foreign kid with the big nose in That 70’s Show). They live in Durban with my dad. I have one living with me, that we bought for The Kid -His Name is Earl.
6. I am a stay-at-home-mommy with two degrees. In Law. Now I change nappies and make bottles all day. Perhaps one day I will return to that world, right now, I’m thrilled with my existence.
7. I taught myself how to cook. I was raised by my father, and his cooking is so appalling, I either had to teach myself to cook or die of food poisoning. I started before I could even reach the stove. I am a fantastic cook.
8. I am 23 and I still don’t have a driver’s license. Shocking I know.
9. Keira Knightley annoys the living be-jaysus out of me. I refuse to watch a movie that has her in it. That poncey pout of hers just makes me want to punch her in the mouth and give her a proper fat lip.
10. I love Jackass. I have a box-set of the DVDs I borrowed from a friend last year. I doubt she’ll ever get them back. I can watch them over and over and over and still think it’s just as funny as the first time.
11. I am a sucker for promotions. Give me a free sample of your product, and I’m likely to buy it. Even if I don’t need it.
12. My current product-related obsession is baby bath products. I think I must have the entire Johnson & Johnson and Elizabeth Anne range – all for The Kid, but there’s nothing better. Every time I go to the shops I get more. I can’t help myself.
13. I am left handed. I cannot even brush my teeth with my right hand.
14. I have a genetic condition called osteochondroma. It means I have extra bones. They’re small growths on my regular bones, but most people think it’s freaky. Although you wouldn’t notice it unless I pointed it out to you.
15. I love fairy lights. I have them in my house, and every time people come over they ask why I haven’t taken down my Christmas lights. ‘Christmas lights?’ I ask ‘no. those are all-year-round-good-taste, my friend’ is my retort.
16. I love to garden. If I can stick it in the ground and it will grow, I will love it. If I can stick it in the ground and it will look pretty, it doesn’t really need to grow. I love those big metal birds they sell on the side of the road. I lust after those every time we drive past them.
17. Those metal-and-bead creations are also a big YAY for me. Love those too. My friend bought a metal-and-bead goat. Don’t think I’ve ever been more jealous in my life.
18. I hate my current hairstyle. The hairdresser fucked it up. But I was too polite to have a shit-fit about it. Plus my boyfriend’s mother paid for it. I call it ‘The Mob’ (The Mommy Bob)
19. I love toasted-cheese-and-banana sandwiches. But I won’t eat banana any other way.
20. I have never read a ‘Sweet Valley High’ or ‘Babysitter’s Club’ book in my life. While my friends were reading those in the 5th grade I was reading Stephen King.
21. I hated Maths at school. Dropped it at the end of 9th grade and took Biology instead. I find that funny, because in Grade 1 I remember winning the maths prize. But then again – how hard is 1+ 1.
22. I used my pregnancy to get deadline extensions for all my master’s assignments last year.
23. The Boyfriend thinks The Kid looks like him. I think The Kid looks like me. Who cares who’s right? We’re both winners.
24. I get puked on at least twice a day. I don’t even flinch any more. But I don’t think I’ll have another Kid – this one is hard work enough as it is, thanks. The Boyfriend still wants a girl. He can have it when he can carry it for 9months.
25. I only brush my teeth once a day. It can’t be that bad for me, I don’t have a single filling and I never get tooth ache.
26. The view from my study upstairs is a power plant and power lines. Welcome to joburg. I am originally from Durban. I miss everything about it except the unbearable humidity.
27. I love rock music. Breaking Benjamin makes me weak at the knees. The Parlotones and Prime Circle make me want to vomit. They make me ashamed to be South African.
28. I would rather eat crisps than sweets and chocolate. I don’t like chocolate that much. But I can punish a good bag of Big Korn Bites.
29. Nando’s Peri-naise sauce is bloody close to my idea of heaven in a jar.
30. I love The Body Shop. Their Brazil Nut products smell like fudge.
31. I used to eat dog biscuits when I was a kid. My mother says she had to put a bowl down for me and one for the dog. Otherwise there would be a brawl.
32. I have no grandfathers alive. But I do have two great-grand-mothers still living. Although they’re both living with the fairies.
33. I have two half sisters. One shares the same mother but has a different father and the other has the same father but a different mother.
34. I still have all my fluffy toys from when I was a kid. When my kid is old enough, I will give them to him.
35. I like to stare at people in elevators. It makes them uncomfortable.
36. I have really small hands and feet.
37. I can cook really well, but everything I try to bake flops. I tried to make ginger snaps once, all I made was one really big ginger-tasting-soggy biscuit. And my cupcakes always have a serious lean to them. I tried to make banana bread the other day. Not only was it a soggy mess, but somehow it managed to taste salty. Weird.
38. This parenting thing is harder than I thought. There’s not much sleeping involved. That’s becoming problematic.
39. I hate having dirty hands or feet. I wash them about 10 or more times a day.
40. I cannot sleep on a pillow. I throw them all off the bed before I climb in.
41. I have recently developed a fondness for ginger beer. I used to hate it, but now I can’t get enough. The same with olives. I wonder what vodka and ginger beer would be like?
42. I love reading the agony aunt section in magazines and newspapers. I love reading about other people’s problems. Same reason why I love PostSecret.
43. I make my own birthday cards and Christmas cards for people. Not because I’m cheap, but because I like to.
44. I’ve been to six different schools and two universities.
45. I hate watching sports like rugby and golf and soccer on TV. Give me show jumping, ice skating, gymnastics or synchronized swimming and I’m glued to the screen. Especially show jumping.
46. I prefer bathing to showering. Showering involves far too much standing.
47. I have a seriously foul vocabulary. Yet I cannot talk dirty. I can use words like ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ as swear words, but ask me to use them in an erotic fashion, and I go all shy.
My favourite swearword right now is ‘faggotcrap’. I know, it’s appalling.
48. I have never voted before. Although I plan to in the next election. People keep spouting that ‘every vote not cast is a vote for the ANC’ line at me and it’s wearing thin. Although, in reality I have no interest in politics.
49. I hate wearing closed shoes/sneakers. I prefer flip-flops.
50. I am not religious. Under ‘religious views’ on Facebook, I have written ‘ I like Easter eggs’. I think this is hilarious. One of my friends has ‘I like public holidays’ as his religious views. This too, I think is hilarious.